Every Kiwi has their signature way of making a cuppa tī and they’ll defend it like it’s the only way worth knowing. Some swear by a brew so dark it rivals te pō, others love theirs milky sweet like a warm hug, and then there are the biscuit dippers who treat tea as a condiment.
Our totally unofficial personali-tī test pairs 12 classic tea styles with light-hearted personality profiles inspired by the Kiwi way of drinking tī. From te manu (the powerhouse double-bagger) to tīremi (the multitasker whose tea always ends up cold), each one is served in the trusty marae cup you know and love.
So grab a mug, pop the jug on, and find out which cuppa truly represents you. All in the name of good fun (and good tī).
te pō
the dark night 🌚
You like it strong and hot. You don’t tolerate any nonsense, you run a tight ship, and your to-do list is longer than the line for whitebait fritters at Te Matatini. You’re the kind of person who’s up before the sun, wears colour-coded outfits, and passive aggressively writes “as per my last email."
kēhua
the ghost 👻
Just miraka in disguise, and would barely even win the participation award at the tea olympics. Let’s be honest, you really just want a glass of warm milk to go with that pihikete. You’re the kind of person who wears stubbies in the middle of winter, is a sucker for home-baking, and although you come off as tough, deep down you’re a big ol' softy.
te punga
the anchor ⚓️
Straight to jail. Anyone leaving the tea bag in is either a lazy slob or pulling a power move. You’re a double dipper, knife-licker, who genuinely couldn’t care less what anyone thinks. And you obviously like a bit of variation in life, because you go through eight different tea strengths in one cuppa. Although your tea-making is questionable, your loyalty is not.
hupa huka
the sugar soup 🍭
You’re a straight up pyschopath. If you’re putting more than one teaspoon of diabetes in your tea, let’s be honest, you don’t actually like tea. You’re just here for the sugar hit, but eating it by the spoonful is frowned upon, so you disguise it in a cuppa. High energy is your thing, and people remember you as the life of the party.
tai timu
the low tider 🌊
You’re a special breed of tea drinker who is a few kūmara short of a hāngī. If you’re delivering this type of tea, you have people questioning their friendship with you. You’re the one that turns up late to a shared kai with a bag of chips, but first to grab a plate of leftovers on your way out. Despite being a walking red flag, you somehow manage to win people over with your charm.
tai nui
the high tider 🌊
Like, no, I don’t want to wear a bib while I’m sipping my tea. An over-compensator and a little unhinged, you’re the kind of person who eyeballs every recipe (what measuring cups?), has a floor somewhere beneath the laundry pile, and consistently turns up fashionably late to all kaupapa #NgātiTūreiti. Your humour almost makes up for your lack of organisation skills, though.
tī-hei
tea with a sneeze of milk 🤧️
‘Just a dash’, you say. If you don’t like milk, just say so. Coffee is actually your preferred choice of beverage, but tea is for when you've had your quota for the day. Not a morning person, naturally creative, and takes two business days to order something from the menu, you're an extroverted introvert who hates small talk with a passion.
puna pihikete
the biscuit bath 🍪️
The tea is just a means to soften that gingernut. It’s more of a condiment than anything, and you take your time to enjoy each tea-soaked bite. You’re the easy-going kind, who appreciates the simple things in life and loves a good yarn. But if you’re sipping that soggy sludge at the bottom, then you also belong in jail with the other lot 🚫
tī-pāti
tea party 🫖
You have a whole drawer dedicated to your impressive collection of herbal tea options, and select according to your mood. You’re that friend who starts the day with breathwork, gratitude, and a pre-prepared brekkie. You’re a slow sipper, deep thinker, and gentle mover. A full-blown empath who still bawls their eyes out rewatching their favourite rom-com. A true wellness warrior with a compost bin, who always reads the back of the food labels.
tīremi
the multī-tasker ❄️
You made a tea… three hours ago. It’s been reheated and lost in the microwave, twice. A human whirlwind, your life is a masterclass in multitasking: back and forth juggling deadlines, coordinating multiple schedules, and calming meltdowns (yours and others). You don’t remember the last time you finished a cuppa while it was still hot, but you’re out here raising the next generation. The tea’s cold, but you? Unstoppable.
te manu
the manu bomb 💦
People call you intense, but they also call you when they need things done. You don't do things in halves. Double bag? Always. Triple, if you’re feeling generous. You’re the kind of tī drinker who treats it like a competitive sport, and honestly, you’re winning in life. Te Punga walked so you could run. You’re loud, proud, and have zero chill. Deadlines demolished. Can’t stop, won’t stop (unless you’re reaching for another tea bag).
tī-puna
liquid wisdom 🍃
You’ve got that intergenerational wisdom glow. Your tea is medicinal, your words are healing, and your mātauranga runs deep. You infuse your tī with intention and karakia. The kind of person who grows their own kai and has wisdom well beyond their years. A natural caregiver, guardian and expert in manaakitanga. When the world feels chaotic, people come to you.
